Imagine, A Center for Coping with Loss, is a New Jersey based nonprofit that offers free grief support for children, adults and families. The Uplands hosted a retreat for 10 men who were mourning the loss of a spouse or family member. Co-facilitated by Imagine facilitators and Uplands staff, the retreat’s theme was “through the wilderness together,” to capture the idea of companioning each other through the landscape of loss. The retreat marked a new chapter in Imagine and the Upland’s collaboration. While this was our fifth retreat together, this was the first whose participants consisted exclusively of men.
After a tour of the facility and a delicious supper, the group gathered in the art room for an ice breaking and bonding activity. Participants divided into groups, each of which created emblems that embodied shared experiences. They ended the evening in the yoga room where they enjoyed a sound bath. A new experience for all, many noted how much they appreciated the deep state of relaxation they gave way to.
The following morning, began with an easeful yoga class, again a new experience for many of the men. Others used the time to relax in the pool and sauna or to stroll on one of the many nature trails on the grounds. After breakfast, the Imagine facilitators gathered the group for a grief support session. Following a sumptuous lunch, the group enjoyed a relaxing afternoon choosing from an array of options. Most joined a guided nature walk on the Uplands Wellness trail. Several toured the grounds on an ATV nicknamed the “Mule.” Still others napped, swam, saunaed or enjoyed the outdoor hut tub. Throughout, many participants took advantage of a “game room” replete with corn hole, ladder ball, a golf putting game, a poker table and PlayStation. After dinner, the group gathered for a fireside conversation led by the facilitators. After the session concluded, most of the men moved to the West Patio where they enjoyed good conversation over a warming fire. Several also enjoyed a luxury cigar generously supplied by an Imagine participant who unfortunately was unable to attend in person.
On the final day, guests enjoyed a vast spread of homemade breakfast (including Uplands own maple syrup!), followed by a closing fireside grief support gathering. As the participants packed up to leave, they expressed how surprised, heartened and refreshed they felt from the peace and communal connectedness they experienced in their retreat. Their intention as they returned to their busy workaday lives was to remain connected as a new community of support comprised of their Uplands retreat companions.
